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From the 1950s up through the early 1990s, the specter of nuclear war cast a shadow over the world like a giant, gloomy mushroom tattoo. Hollywood and our own morbid imaginations canada goose outlet uk sale came up with any number of scenarios that would wipe out humanity in a series of blinding flashes: robots, Russian and American policies of mutually assured destruction. But Kubrick was probably closest official canada goose outlet when he imagined the nuclear era as a game of poker between cocky, absent minded lunatics. Only he probably didn’t go far enough. After all, he could have never imagined.

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canada goose Anyone close enough to wonder why it was suddenly so windy and blinding were told the explosions were being set off at a safe distance. For instance, Area 51, the army base in the middle of the Nevada desert (where conspiracy theorists believe the Army is reverse engineering UFOs), was actually one of the most active nuclear test sites in the world. Russia was able to set off their weapons in the similarly desolate region of the country known as “the part that’s not canada goose outlet in usa Moscow.”And letting the fallout get blown off to the part that’s not Russia. canada goose

Canada Goose Online Rather than trying to keep pace with canada goose outlet jackets America’s increasingly precise guided missile delivery systems, Russia’s solution was to build and test a bomb that was so big that aim literally didn’t matter. It was like losing an archery competition and throwing a hand grenade at the target to remind the winner just how little aim mattered in the face of your sheer ass slapping lunacy. Canada Goose Online

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buy canada goose jacket “If we don’t try to destroy all life on earth, we’ll never know if we can.” buy canada goose jacket

buy canada goose jacket cheap The scaled down version of the bomb was still big enough to cause a fireball that was seen 600 miles away, meaning if it was dropped over Manhattan, you would canada goose outlet store have been able to watch New York City burn from Virginia. Windowpanes would have been broken down through South Carolina. Even though they dropped Tsar Bomba over a deserted area in the Arctic Circle, wooden houses canada goose outlet toronto factory were destroyed and stone houses had their roofs blown off hundreds of miles away. The shock wave was so extreme that even with the parachute giving them a 20 mile head start, the plane that dropped it was canada goose outlet sale knocked into a free fall for a half mile before catching itself and continuing to get out of Dodge. buy canada goose jacket cheap

uk canada goose Tsar Bomba turned heads worldwide. The insane cost of producing it canada goose jacket outlet and everyone’s terrified expressions combined to make canada goose outlet it the biggest bomb anyone has ever canada goose outlet black friday dropped. uk canada goose

canada goose uk outlet The code canada goose outlet canada name came from the Old Testament passage in which enemies are instructed to turn their swords into gardening weapons and garden together instead of killing each other. Applying that logic to nuclear weapons, the United States posed the question: Why use carefully placed dynamite when you could create a new harbor in seconds with nuclear weapons? Edward Teller, the American who invented the hydrogen bomb, suggested lining up across the Isthmus of Panama for the purpose of instantly creating a second Panama Canal. He never got Panama to go along with it. A 1958 plan to detonate a nuclear bomb in Alberta to collect oil sands did get the approval of the Alberta government, but was vetoed by Canadian Prime Minister John Diefenbaker for canada goose black friday sale being crazier than a fist full of shit.”And I know what that feels like I shook hands with Nixon once.” canada goose uk outlet

uk canada goose outlet The plan was really just a way for the military to get around the looming 1963 Nuclear Test Ban Treaty, which canada goose outlet store uk made it illegal to test weapons in the upper atmosphere and in the ocean. The Sedan Test was ‘s second test and it was, in scientific terms, a son of a bitch. The bomb was placed underground in a remote section of the Nevada desert in the hopes that nobody would notice. But the nuclear bomb erupted out of the earth like a pissed off radioactive volcano, releasing the seismic equivalent of a 4.75 earthquake and launching 6.6 canada goose outlet shop million cubic yards of radioactive earth into the atmosphere. How much is that? Here’s a picture from the observation deck of the quarter mile wide crater the explosion left behind.”Can anyone else feel their sperm dying?” uk canada goose outlet

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cheap Canada Goose The land that used to be inside that crater, now radioactive and floating around in the atmosphere, had to come down eventually. Much of it fell over the Midwest, with some counties in Iowa recording higher levels of radiation than any county in Nevada. When it was all said and done, Sedan had exposed more innocent people to radiation than any other weapons test in American history. cheap Canada Goose

canada goose uk shop As was often the case, the two powers fed off of each other’s dipshittery. Seeing that America was getting to blow up its Western states under the guise of testing construction equipment, the Soviet Union decided they wanted glow in the dark canals and harbors, too. And so in 1965, the Soviet military exploded the base of the Chagan River to test the lake making properties of apocalyptic weaponry. canada goose uk shop

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canada goose uk black friday The blast made a hole 328 feet deep and well over 1,000 feet wide. Radiation, unlike the American tests, stayed pretty much in the neighborhood, although some did get over Japan’s airspace. It did successfully create Lake Chagan, which is still highly radioactive today, though people now swim in it because they’re Russian and therefore don’t give a shit about anything. Still, when compared with canada goose outlet uk our radioactive mud rain, the Russians probably won that round.”Wow, a radioactive lake. Nice. We’ll send you a postcard when we get back from our vacation. TO THE MOON.” canada goose uk black friday

Canada Goose online A lot of nuclear testing was focused on space. As far as we can tell, this was for the same reason some people in their late twenties have Thundercats fetishes: We were discovering our nuclear capabilities at the same time that we were spending a lot of time thinking about space. Canada Goose online

canada goose coats on sale Initially America lucked out because all of the atom bombs fired into the high atmosphere didn’t really do anything. Instead of leaving well enough alone, the decision was made to up the caliber. Instead of WWII style atom bombs, in 1962, a hydrogen bomb was dispatched 250 miles into the air from the Pacific Ocean to the Southeast of Hawaii. The most powerful weapon in the world at the time was going to be used to see if a vital aspect of our survival could be messed canada goose outlet nyc with. As the Honolulu Advertiser would confirm the following day, the test, named Starfish Prime, was a success canada goose coats on sale.

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