The 10 Most Insane Medical Practices in History
Canada Goose Outlet What follows is one of 22 classic articles that appear in the book, along with 18 new articles that you can’t read anywhere else. Canada Goose Outlet
canada goose coats on sale Have you ever been left with the impression after a thorough canada goose outlet store uk poking, prodding and testicular cupping at the doctor’s official canada goose outlet office that perhaps they don’t always know what’s best? The thought is usually pushed from your mind, after all these people had to go through years of school and thousands of dollars of their wealthy parents’ money to get where they are! If you can’t trust them about your health, who can you trust? canada goose coats on sale
canada goose Here’s the thing though, doctors canada goose outlet sale have a long storied background of not knowing what the hell they’re doing. History is filled with stories of hilarious medical canada goose outlet toronto factory ineptitude, and in all likeliness, today’s medical practices will be similarly snorted at 100 years down the road. In other words, if you’re looking to justify your medical phobia so you can rationalize not getting that ever growing lump on your neck checked out, you’re in the right place. canada goose
Canada Goose Parka In the 19th century, people were simply too busy churning butter, waxing their moustaches or changing in and out of 15 layers of undergarments every time they went to take a piss to be bothered with disobedient children. To aide the stressed 19th century mother, a series of “soothing syrups,” lozenges and powders canada goose outlet in usa were created, all which were carefully formulated to ensure they were safe for use by those most vulnerable members of the family. Oh, no, wait. Actually, they pumped each bottle full of as many narcotics as it could hold. Canada Goose Parka
Canada Goose Coats On Sale For instance, each ounce of Mrs. Winslow’s Soothing Syrup contained 65 mg of pure morphine. Canada Goose Coats On Sale
canada goose black friday sale Based on our experiences teething and experimenting with pure morphine, that seems like a lot. canada goose black friday sale
cheap Canada Goose Mercury canada goose outlet store is pretty neat stuff. The shiny silvery liquid has canada goose outlet uk sale fascinated humans for millennia (there’s evidence people used it as early as 1500 BC) and will undoubtedly continue to fascinate far into the future when shape shifting Robert Patrick clones overtake the planet. How could something so awesome not be good for you? cheap Canada Goose
That was the thinking for centuries, when Mercury was used to treat pretty much anything and everything. Scraped your knee? Just rub a little mercury on it. Having some problems with regularity? Forget fiber, time to get some mercury up in there! If you lived more than 100 years ago, you canada goose outlet reviews simply weren’t considered healthy if you weren’t leaking silver from at least one orifice.
uk canada goose outlet Mercury, as we now know, is toxic as hell. Symptoms of mercury canada goose outlet online poisoning include chest pains, heart and lung problems, coughing, tremors, violent muscle spasms, psychotic reactions, delirium, hallucinations, suicidal tendencies, restless spleen syndrome, testicular twisting and anal implosion. OK, we just made the last few up, but they barely looked out of place on that horror show list of symptoms did they? uk canada goose outlet
canada goose coats It’s a testament to just how cool a substance Mercury is that people kept trying to cure shit with it for 1,000 years after everybody who ingested it dropped dead. “Yes my Lord, I’m afraid another member of your court has perished. The autopsy showed it was Silver Liver Syndrome. Not even the gallons of wicked awesome Mercury we fed him could bring him back to health.” canada goose coats
canada goose store There was a silver lining, though, as it helped to fight the spread of STDs. Mercury was used as a cure for syphilis and to its credit, the “cure” usually resulted in one less person with syphilis in the world. It’s generally believed Mozart was poisoned by mercury based syphilis cures, which contradicts the film Amadeus canada goose outlet jackets canada goose outlet in which he was killed by writing too much music somehow. canada goose store
In the late 19th century people apparently took cough suppression seriously. We’re talking “I’m going to take canada goose outlet new york city me some canada goose outlet nyc heroin to calm this cough” level serious, here. We know Victorians were sticklers for social etiquette and wheezing your head off was probably considered frightfully rude, but we can’t imagine tying off and shooting some horse in the middle of a dinner party would go over terribly well, either.
Canada Goose Jackets Well you probably don’t need us to tell you how addictive and destructive a drug heroin really is, goose outlet canada but just in case. Heroin? Might want to avoid that stuff. On the upside, it actually does suppress coughs, so if you do decide to become a junkie at least you’ll save on buying Halls. Canada Goose Jackets
Canada Goose sale Heroin, by the way, was originally canada goose outlet uk developed by Bayer. You know, those friendly folks behind harmless old aspirin. Canada Goose sale
Electrified beds, elaborate cock shocking electric belts and other strange devices were advertised as being able to return “male power” and prowess by making your penis rise to electrified attention like canada goose outlet canada Frankenstein’s 6 inch tall monster.
canada goose uk outlet Photo courtesy of The Museum of Quackery. canada goose uk outlet
Canada Goose online What’s fascinating is that you can find ads for more than one brand of electric dick shock belt. That seems to indicate that the dick shock belt industry somehow survived the negative word of mouth from the first dick shock belt. Canada Goose online
By “word of mouth,” we mean the incoherent screams of the first customer which could presumably be heard in the next town.
Imagine if you will. You’re sitting on your psychiatrist’s couch, pouring your tortured heart out about how depressed you are. He listens, jotting notes on a piece of paper and nodding intently. “I canada goose outlet black friday think I have the solution to your depression,” canada goose jacket outlet he says as he produces a 10 inch long ice pick. “I’m going to jam this into your eye socket, then put it into your brain using this mallet over here. Then, I’ll wiggle it around so that it shreds part of your brain. Then you won’t be depressed any more. Just lie still.”
Congratulations hypothetical version of yourself living in the canada goose outlet shop 1940s, you’ve just been lobotomized! were a popular fad for the first half canada goose factory outlet of the 20th century and were floated as a “cure” for pretty much any mental issue you can name, from conditions as serious as schizophrenia to something as mild as depression or anxiety.
The inventor of the lobotomy was given a Nobel Prize for it in 1949. Doctors claimed the “ice pick to the freaking eye” method of lobotomy would be as quick canada goose black friday sale and easy as a trip to the dentist. By 1960, parents were getting them for their moody teenage children.
canadian goose jacket This practice didn’t hang around as long as canada goose outlet some on our list, but still some 70,000 people were lobotomized before somebody figured out that driving a spike into the brain probably was not the answer to all of life’s problems. canadian goose jacket
You can tell just by the title of the entry that we’re not heading anywhere good with this one. Yup, throughout history there are those who believed the key to good health (and terrible body odor) was wallowing in one’s own excretions. It was said to cure an endless list of ailments and promote good health if drank, was applied to the skin and yes some even used it to give themselves (turn away now weak of heart) a nice bracing urine enema.
Perhaps the best part of this is that while most of the practices listed in this article have long since been dismissed as lunacy, urine therapy lives on to today (for https://www.canadagoosestorevip.com your own sanity don’t do a Google search for it). That’s right, of all the crackpot theories listed here the one that endured is the one where people drink and bathe in piss.
buy canada goose jacket cheap There’s absolutely no canada goose outlet online uk evidence that urine therapy can cure a damn thing (and it comes with the added bonus of you getting to smell like the underside of a bridge or a downtown subway car). No, even the thing with peeing on jellyfish stings isn’t true. On the bright side, armed with the new knowledge we’ve provided you, you can now try to pass those DVDs your girlfriend found in your closet off as medical instruction videos buy canada goose jacket cheap.
